drowning in fresh air

Surrounded by memories... Things that I could never be, have, or even imagine... No, I can imagine anything. I can be as crazy as him, in my dreams. As free as one can ever be... Sometimes I wish my life was different. I chose safety, I chose a calm happiness, without complications. But my darkest side looks for a way out, constantly. In moments like this, I find myself thinking about the past, all the alternative ways I could have walked, all the possible moves, now under the sand and dust of a million choices, like a million years. Do I regret anything? Hardly. I don't regret having this beautiful guy who resembles my father a little too much by my side and I don't regret being this much of a scientist with zero tolerance towards superstition. But I do miss the crazy stuff, or being free to do whatever shit that crosses my mind without ever having to think about the consequences. I have too much to lose now... (to be continued)